Reviewing the American Idol Elite Eight

Originally posted on http://digitaldiatribes.wordpress.com on April 11, 2007.

So, a few more weeks have gone by since my compelling critiques of the American Idol contestants.  Since many out there are clamoring for words of wisdom on this ever-important subject, it would be a near-capital offense for me to not comply to the will of the people.  As such, the following discussion takes place as a public service to the masses: those who cannot get enough good information regarding this bastion of entertainment that we refer to simply as “Idol.”  Sorry, Billy.  Move over.

Since we last discussed this continuing television event, a few things have transpired.  Chris Sligh and Gina are gone, but most notably, Sanjaya has remained.  There has been controversy surrounding his non-departure.  Predominantly, there is a web site which will not be linked to here that encourages its followers to Vote For the Worst.  That site chooses who it considers to be the worst participant, and then tells everyone who wants to sent American Idol into obscurity and meaninglessness to vote for the worst performer.  Apparently, the web site’s owner claims to have nothing personal against AI, while at the same time telling everyone that the show is a joke that preys on the poor, innocent, helpless, participants.

Now, far be it from me to claim that AI is innocent as charged, but let’s try to interject a dose of reasonableness into this discussion.  It may well be true that the winner of American Idol will not get as good a contract as they would in the open market.  But, on the flip side, if it were not for AI, none of these people would be in any position to negotiate any kind of a contract, period.  The show discovered them and makes them stars, so it’s a little disingenuous to turn around and say that “these people are now stars, and they’re getting screwed.”  In addition, it’s not like the people who try out for the last number of seasons haven’t had plenty of opportunity to assess their willingness to get taken advantage of by the evil empire of AI.  Finally, the singers on the show are not the fault of any AI sins.  Unfortunately, they are the most immediate victims of getting booted, while someone less deserving sticks around.

And so, one must really conclude that this whole campaign is out of some kind of immature spite.  When Howard Stern jumps on your bandwagon, it doesn’t exactly lend credibility to your crusade.

Be that as it may, Vote For the Worst can do whatever they want to do.  It’s a free country.  In my opinion, if AI truly wishes to nip this in the bud, they can have a one-night change in voting where the callers vote for their least favorite.  It’s their show, they can do what they want.   On the other hand, bad publicity is better than no publicity.  So, when there is controversy, it’s good for the show.  So, I’m guessing they’ll happily keep Sanjaya around, hoping that he leaves in the final 4 or 5, after the novelty of the situation has completely run its course.

Now, all the bad pub around Sanjaya took a funny turn last night.  The kid actually did a nice job – I’d even say he was middle-of-the-pack-ish.  That being said, ridiculous past performances still indicate that he should go.  But he probably won’t.

My observation of Latin Night is that it is not conducive to determining the next American Idol.  They’ve done this in the past, and I’ve thought the same thing.  It’s a very distinct type of talent to pull off many of these kinds of songs, and it just didn’t play well with me – nor, it seemed, the judges.  I don’t necessarily fault the contestants on this one.  Let’s face it – not every good performer is great at every genre.  I can only speak from my personal non-great experience, but I think I’m a pretty capable singer/musician.  Any time in my life I’ve attempted to do Country anything my wife laughs and shakes her head, as if to say, “My poor lad.  Can’t you see that you cannot do this?   You are so cute when you try, though.”   (I added the part about being cute.)  In addition, does nobody but Melinda realize there are more than 4 songs in this genre that the females can sing?   Nothing like just stepping outside the box on the song selection with “Conga,” “Rhythm is Gonna Get You”, etc.   At least the guys did something a little different.

Melinda.   Oh, Melinda.  Am I allowed to be a little mean here?  Honestly, I don’t want to be, but I have to be honest.  This whole attempt at “sexy” just didn’t work.  Man, I hate to go here…  All right, I’ll just say it.  You are not pretty.  You can sing your hinder off, you have a boat-load of talent, you seem like a beautifully warm, nice, sincere, and loveable person.  But it was a little awkward to watch you trying to come across as “sexy.”  You’re not.  Sorry, that’s just how I see it.  That said, I love ya. 

Lakisha.  Lakisha can sing the Diva stuff and the gospel stuff without compare.  Strong, on pitch, great voice.   But I am really struggling with the personality here.  I see her as someone who has a great career ahead of her for a certain genre, but it is probably not going to be the pop-artist genre.  And despite some criticism I received in my last review, Melinda and Lakisha are very similar in style, and are strongest in the same genres.  I know what was being implied with the criticism of my opinion.  (Hint: skin color)   Sorry.  The data suggests I’m right.  They have both been strongest on the same nights and weakest on the same nights.  Coincidence?   I think not.

Chris.  I admit that I don’t get it.  Oh, there have been nights where he’s performed and I’ve said “Hey, that was pretty good.”  But he always sounds the same to me, has a weak lower register, and does this thing with his neck and head at the same time he crooks his mouth, and I just think “seizure.”  I can’t get past it.

Blake.  I was a bit slow to warm to Blake.  Part of the reason was because I thought he had a couple average performances early on where the judges nearly proclaimed him the Messiah.  I thought they were stretching things a bit, and perhaps trying to influence the audience instead of just being honest.  But lately, when everyone else is average, Blake does seem to rise to the top.  I’ve come around now and agree that he is far and away the best male performer.  Last night, I really thought he was the only one to give a completely legitimate showcase of his talent.

Jordin.  I really, really like Jordin.  She can nail it.  No ifs, ands, or buts.  Last night was probably her worst evening in a while, and I’d argue it was still the second or third best of the bunch.  And unlike Lakisha, she just has a personality that you root for.  A happy, bubbly kid who just seems to be having a great time.

Phil.   Sigh.  I like Phil.  I think he has a good voice.  But I have to admit that it’s probably getting close to his time to go.  Lately, he just hasn’t nailed much.  Now, I thought he really did great a few weeks ago on “Every Breath You Take.”  That was easily his best performance.  But the last couple weeks have been nothing special, and competition is just rising above his level.  It doesn’t help that if you painted him with make-up and took a black and white photo, he could pass for being part of the Muenster family.

Finally, we come to Haley.  I’ve read suggestions that Simon was cruel with his comment about Haley only being there because of her lack of clothes.  Sorry, I cannot agree.  Haley hardly reacted as if she disagreed.  Five (or whatever it is) weeks in a row of showing a bunch of leg means that you think you’re on to something.  Everyone watching knows what she’s up to, everyone voting for her knows why they’re voting for her, she knows it, the judges know it, and the producers know it.  Sorry, Haley, but behind Sanjaya there is no more obvious choice to leave the show based on vocal talent.

Simon as much as admitted that it’s not just a singing competition by pointing that out.  It’s more accurate for him to say that “This should be a singing competition.”  I agree with him, but the reality is that the whole package gets voted on: singing, stage presence, appearance.  In fact, he contradicts himself every time he comments on what a person is wearing (or not wearing) or a person’s dancing, or anything else that does not relate to actual singing.  I’d even put negative comments about a song arrangement in that category.

But then, he can say what he wants.  After all, he’s Simon Cow.