Personal Diatribes

Welcome to my family (and other stories)

Archive for October, 2009

The Awning

Posted by The Diatribe Guy on October 16, 2009

And so it came to pass that the tenth month of the 2009th year was upon us. And with that, the peoples of the land known as Wisconsin began their preparations for the frigid months looming on the horizon of time that years of experience told them awaited. It was a bittersweet period for the Northwoods, as the land was often described. The waning light of morning and evening was unwelcome to many, though a few appreciated the increased darkness. More than that, however, the enjoyers of warm weather were once again facing the dreaded period of cold that was to come.

However, even with the many that would prefer summer warmth, one had to acknowledge to beauty of the current landscape. Early October was the peak time of color on the landscape. a mosaic of yellow, orange, red, and green – of varying brightness and hue, often within the same tree – decorated the view of the attentive observer. One could not help but see the symbolism of one’s own life in the very transition of these different seasons. But, just as the stark reality of death was not looked forward to by most, neither would a cold and harsh winter. And as beautiful and lovely as the early years of retirement may be for an aging man, everyone knew what was to come in future years.

Except for the skiiers and snowshoers. They were just goofy.

With the move from summer to fall came preparation. Many would be canning food from the harvest of their gardens. Others would roll out what the natives referred to as “plastic” to cover the windows on their homes. Others were once again getting accustomed to submitting weekly Fantasy Football lineups. The work never stopped.

One such man had an additional responsibility. His was the labor of driving up to the northern extremities of this strange land – a “state” in the country’s vernacular – in order to engage in a ritual of sorts. This strange ritual was called “closing down the camper” for the season.

This faraway place had been a refuge to which he and his family could go to escape the din of work and life. It had served its purpose, but now the cold was coming. A camper would be no place of refuge during the winter months, after all. It was not built for that sort of thing. No, pink fluid would now fill the pipes to ensure proper storage, the electrical lines and water hoses disconnected, all the extra accessories put safely away, and the awning rolled up.

And so he traveled. It was a difficult journey, through the Land of Road Construction, and a little-known oasis that needed to be used for personal purposes and the acquisition of a Salted Nut Roll and Water. But despite the hardship and obstacles, there would be no failure. No denying him of his responsibility. And so he persevered, and after nearly 3 long hours, he arrived at his ultimate destination, where…

“That can’t be good,” he lamented, as he secured the parking brake on the small slope in front of the camper.

Where there was once an awning was.. nothing? No, not nothing. Just not a secured awning.

It was readily apparent that a strong storm or wind had demonstrated its dominance over the metal arms and canvass structure of what used to be an awning. Twisted and broken metal lay in the wake of the remains, while the awning itself had been blow to the roof of the structure.

Anyway, that’s my long-winded way of saying “My freakin’ awning was torn apart on my camper.” It sucks. The metal arm smashed in the plastic vent-cover on the top, so I spent the next hour driving back in and getting the materials I needed to cover that up.

Thankfully, we had insurance, and it looks like it will get settled, but it’s really a pain to have to deal with.

A lesson to you campers – putting your awning all the way down, but not rolling it up may be fine and dandy 95% of the time, but I’m here as a witness to tell you that it ain’t foolproof. The right wind at the right speed from the right sirection will still take that thing and toss it over like it’s a kite.

Just one camper’s experience. Roll up your awning.

Posted in Camping, Fall, Wisconsin | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

Muskie Fishing in October

Posted by The Diatribe Guy on October 14, 2009

I took a couple days off work last week. Task #1 was to fish all day in 45 degree weather, trying to land a Muskie. This isn’t what I was going to write about, but this just tells you how much I plan ahead when I decide to ramble on with this personal stuff.

So, a friend of mine whom we’ll call Jeff had called me up twice within the last week talking about the 28-inch Walleye and the 30-inch Walleye he’d hauled out of the river. (He ate them. No Mercury poisoning there…)

His stories were good. You know, the kind that makes one start thinking “Hey, I wanna go catch me one of them there Walleyes too!” And then my boss had gone out on the river last Tuesday and he and the guy he went out on the boat with caught 2 Muskies, and had 6 other trailers (ones that follow but don’t take the bait – but they usually come up to the boat and check it out before darting off, so it’s still cool). So, I ask my boss where they landed them, and in what water depth. The answer was that they found them near dams or rocks, or other places where water came to a semi-stop and was shallower (5 feet and below).

So I passed this information on to my friend, who promptly decided to troll all day right down the middle of the river in 15-feet of water. Hey, it was his boat and his equipment (mine was up north). As one might predict, when one guy is landing a certain kind of fish in a certain kind of area, and then you decide to fish in areas with none of those characteristics, you’re not exactly increasing your odds.

I thought I’d present a picture of all the huge fish we caught. Here it is:

In case you’re wondering if I forgot to upload the picture, fear not. There is no picture to upload.

Oh well. It was still better than work.

I did catch a 12-inch crappie. We finally got so desparate to catch something that we stuck some worms on a jig until one of us actually caught something. Then we went back to trolling for nothing.

That’s probably it for me until spring. I don’t do the ice-fishing thing. Give me a warm couch and a football game.

Posted in Anecdotes, Fishing, Wisconsin | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »