What I Did on my Summer Vacation, Part One

Originally posted on http://digitaldiatribes.wordpress.com on August 1, 2007.

Since I am no longer a small lad, nor am I employed as a teacher, I don’t actually get summer vacation.  And while there are few things less heartening than sitting behind a computer crunching numbers while the weather outside is warm and sunny, it is still a comforting thought to know that there will be warmth and green and all that stuff waiting for you at the end of the day after months of cold weather.  Thus, summer feels like a vacation of sorts, even when it isn’t.

Around here, the thaw begins in March, and in earnest it picks up during April.  I start to consider the month of May my summer vacation, although there can still be wide fluctuations in the temps even during that month.  However, by that time we can feel fairly assured that the snow is, in fact, gone for good.  This is not the case just a couple hours north of us, where the snow can hang around a bit longer, but here in Central Wisconsin we have it much better than those northerners!

It is the first full weekend of May when we are able to trek up to that northland and hope that the camper is ready to open.  Of course, we keep a watchful eye on the weather to ensure that this is the case before hopping in the van and finding weather unfit for camping (particularly for the young ‘uns.)  This year, we went on that annual pilgrimage the weekend following Mother’s Day, which was the weekend before Memorial Day.  Goal number one of this mission was to get the camper ready for the summer.  Goal number two was to make sure our kids didn’t kill themselves doing something stupid while we were busy getting the camper ready for the summer.  Goal number three was to try and enjoy ourselves a little bit.

This weekend was a typical example of what can happen in the northwoods in May.  That Friday was beautiful, but a little cool.  We spent the afternoon cleaning and organizing and making sure everything worked.   As it turned out, the Water Heater did not work properly, but I was later able to fix it on my own with a simple can of compressed air.  (The electric spark thingamajig was bridged with carbon)   We set up the water with a new filter, got the septic all set, vacuumed, and did all this while ingeniously penning the 8 month old into a makeshift area that enabled us to work without worry.  This year we invested in a mat for the front of the camper, which was way too expensive, but nonetheless worth it.

The next day, then, we were able to hunt down a few supplies and enjoy some gorgeous and warm weather.  There was some fishing to be done, some eating, and enjoying the peace and quiet.  And then it happened…  a 20 degree drop in temperature in the course of one hour.  I’m not joking.   I was wearing shorts and a T-shirt, and the drop occurred so rapidly that I didn’t really realize what had happened.  All I knew was that I was suddenly freezing my buttocks off.  

We knew that this would stick around through the next day, so we made the split decision to head home that evening.  It’s a two and a half hour drive south for us, and when we returned home, the weather was in the 80s.  Weird stuff happens here.

 And so, the story of the camper set-up is complete.  Next I’ll post about our exciting garden planting.  I’ll bet you can’t wait for that one.

Tax Day. A Celebration.

Originally posted on http://digitaldiatribes.wordpress.com on February 11, 2007.

OK, so Tax Day isn’t the most likely day that comes to mind when we think of a day where we celebrate. For many, if not most people, the day that comes to mind is April 15. But for me, Tax Day occurs in early February. This year, that day was February 10.

I am going to admit something that most financial gurus would wave their finger at me and say “shame, shame” about. I do not withold everything I can during the course of the year. Now, to the astute finance wizard, this is a cardinal sin. I can already hear the tone, much like my mother reminding me to brush under my fingernails because that’s where the germs hang out, “<whiny geeky voice>But you’re giving the government an interest-free loan!</whiny geeky voice>”

All right, everyone. I am a math guy. I know all about interest. My wife can also tell you that I drive her insane with my grip on the checkbook, and my knowledge of where all of our dollars go. She loathes bill night, I’m sure, because with it comes questions like “What did you spend $22 on at Kohls? Pants for the kids? But the holes in their jeans aren’t even as big as the holes in my socks!” Anyway, my point here is that you can spare me the lecture on allowing the government to hold on to my money for a few months because I underwithhold. I realize the arguments.

Now comes the reality, however. There are a few reasons why I am not against this little financial maneuver, and I am convinced I come out ahead in the long run.

The first point is, you can talk to me when interest rates in short-term accounts increase to the point where it really actually matters. I mean, where not talking 12% rates here, my concerned friends. Am I missing out on some small amount? Sure I am. But that is more than offset by the dollars that would bleed away on random spending over the course of the year because we suddenly have less of a budgetary concern.

And that’s the second point. The critic will say “Well, just don’t spend that. Have a little will power.” Good one. Oh, I’d have the will power to not go buy a high-definition TV. Those things aren’t the problem. It’s the extra Pizza we’ll pick up for dinner or the extra CD you buy or the extra shirt you get because you have the disposable income on hand. And all those things add up. The way we do things now, we are forced to budget and spend wisely. We don’t always do a great job, but we do a heck of a lot better job than if we had the cash on hand to do more than we do today.

The final argument piggybacks off the second point. Because we are not throwing away $5 here or $10 there we get a nice refund. Inevitably, we need to catch up a little bit after Christmas, and the first money goes towards that. Then we have a couple luxury expenditures (our permanent campsite fee and Packer Season Tickets) for which we set money aside. And after that, we have enough to make some home improvement or additional mortgage payment, or some such thing that we likely would not have saved over the course of the year. If you want to call it a lack of will power, then so be it. We are forcing the will power by doing it this way, and it works out.

So, in that light, tax day is always an exciting affair. It’s not a question of whether or not we’ll get a refund, it’s a matter of the amount. And that’s where the celebration of family enters the picture.

We have six children. Now, during the course of the year, these little tykes cost me a pretty penny. They are worth every cent, of course, but they have the nerve to demand food three times a day, every day! And not only that, they want clothes. It never stops.

Well, tax day is their one day of vindication. All those dependents and child credits add up very nicely on that one day of the year where – instead of costing me money, they “make” me money! Once the taxes are done, a happy exclamation emanates from my lips, dancing ensues, and we openly wonder why everyone doesn’t catch on to this scheme of saving money on their taxes.

In all seriousness, we know there are more important reasons to welcome these beautiful lives into the world. But hey, this little side benefit doesn’t hurt matters!

And so, another year’s taxes are completed. They are e-filed, and I am told the refunds can be expected in less than 2 weeks.

Maybe I’ll even spring for a new shirt. I’ll probably wait on the socks, though.

The King of the Wall of Cereal

Originally posted on http://digitaldiatribes.wordpress.com on February 1, 2007

I am known to be a bit ridiculous about certain things. I know that is difficult to believe, but it is nevertheless true. I revel in my idiosyncracies.

Over the last year or so, I have become determined to be the “sales watchdog” for various items. I have a keen eye for a great deal on soda, candy bars, and chips. If you’ll notice, my list consists of many of the necessities of life. My mother-in-law, should she ever read this, will be shaking her head knowingly and thinking “How am I ever going to turn this buffoon around?”

My real skill, however, is cereal hunting. I love boxed cereal. Our kids love boxed cereal. My wife is too much like her mother, and prone to occasional outbursts of injecting nutritional advice on the matter. Something about how boxed cereals aren’t as healthy as blah blah blah… I don’t care what she says. There is nothing like a good bowl of cocoa puffs to start the day off right.

Anyway, the “Wall of Cereal” is my lovely wife’s – um, affectionate – name for the stockpile of cereal I have accumulated through the last few months. But there is a method to my madness. And this is where I start to look a bit goofy, I do admit.

You see, on a weekly basis there are deals at the cereal aisle. Some good, some not so good. But I have this down to a science, my friends. First, the price of a box is meaningless without the corresponding weight. I target 12 cents per oz or better as a potential buy. And you never know when these great deals will end, and I wouldn’t want to be without this critical food item, so I have, oh, 50-60 boxes of cereal in the basement. Awesome, eh?

But I must share the most deft cost-savings in my short hsitory of this endeavor. Last evening I was charged with picking up milk. (See www.thebluehouse.wordpress.com for details) I had two coupons for free gallons of milk. Then, I had a $2 savings coupon when buying any 6 boxes of General Mills Cereal. The grocery store had $10 off when buying 6 boxes of General Mills cereal. In my genius, I purchased 6 boxes of Count Chocula (gotta love those marshmallow bits!) at $2.19 per box. 6 boxes was $13.14. Take $10 off, and it’s $3.14. Take the $2 off, and it’s $1.14! I bought 6 boxes of cereal and 2 gallons of milk for a total of $1.14! Do I rock, or what? (I fully realize that my excitement on this issue is insane. Just go with it, please.) But it doesn’t end there… as part of the promotion, I also received 2 coupons for free gallons of milk because I purchased 6 boxes of General Mills cereal! Based on my calculations, they paid me!

These are the kinds of things I get excited about. Don’t even get me started on the Drawer of Candy.