Play by Play Arrival of the Newbie

Originally posted on http://digitaldiatribes.wordpress.com on June 18, 2008.

As I could have attested even prior to this, and as others reading this can certainly also understand, the last few days have been a whirlwind. Thankfully, all has been going extremely well. For friends and family who are checking in and haven’t had a chance to catch the details, here’s the scoop. For those of you who don’t care and just want the next global temperature update, I’m working on the NCDC spreadsheets when I can, and am close to getting something up. But bear with me over the next few days.

Saturday morning I had considered heading up north to clean up and open the camper (yes, we still haven’t done that, between schedules and cold/rainy weather). As it turned out, it was a long week and I was exhausted Friday evening, and slept like a rock. When Wendy woke up the next morning, she shut off the alarm and let me sleep in because something was feleing just a tad different than usual. So, my lovely wife gave me the gift of sleeping in, and needless to say, the camper still has not been visited upon.

Valentine’s Day Redux

Originally posted on http://digitaldiatribes.wordpress.com on February 15, 2007.

In the office where I work, there are certain individuals/departments where candy is purchased and offered to the rest of us.  The other day I noticed that the jar was filled with Peanut Butter Easter Eggs.   I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that, in a world where Christmas is advertised prior to Halloween, I would see Easter being promoted before Lent even starts.  But surprised I was as I opened the wrapper and consumed the little treat.  (Hey, I may not understand why it has to be in the shape of an egg, but that won’t stop me from enjoying some chocolate and peanut butter.)

I bring this up because this is the world we live in, and I am now posting about Valentine’s Day.  By definition, the topic is already stale.  I had intended to post this yesterday, but believe it or not, more important things got in the way.  I know, I know…   Once you start a blog, there is nothing more important than your blog, right?   Well, I’m a rule-breaker.   In any case, here’s my strategy to make this post, um, unstale:  Consider this the opening salvo on preparing for Valentine’s Day 2008.  I’m simply getting a good start on next year.

I thought I’d just share our Valentine’s Day traditions with all of you.

There.  I’m done.

I’m sure by now, you have all determined that I am a sensitive guy.  So, it may surprise you that my wife and I have generally chosen not to celebrate Valentine’s Day.  It may be more accurate to say that I choose not to, and Wendy goes along with it happily.  Or at least pretends to be happy.

Now, lest you think I am a heartless jerk, I assure you that is not the case.   It’s more the forced nature of showing affection that has caused this personal stand of mine.  As I see it, buying a bunch of overpriced flowers and paying more for a card than should be legally allowed all because it’s February 14th means far less than offering the random “let me take you out to/bring home dinner” offer on, say, June 7 (a day which otherwise means nothing in particular).  Or surprising her with flowers (admittedly a very rare occurrence) on a random day.

Allow me to illustrate the frustrations us men go through with an example.  As a general rule, men pretty much lack the creativity gene.  Flowers are a safe bet, and so when the Rotary Club has their annual “a dozen roses for $15″ sale, the males among us believe that we can buy these cheap flowers, check that little item off our list of nice things we should do,  and the wife at home will be none the wiser.   The problem is, wives talk to other wives.  And when everyone gets roses on the same day it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to determine that the odds of this occurring are about as likely as gravity ceasing to exist.  And so, this purchase is looked upon in an almost humorous way and not received in the same way as a simple “I love you” is received.  (It has been reported to me, however, that despite this, certain men fear the consequences of not getting the dozen roses.  Better to be looked upon as a loyal lapdog than one who gives the appearance of not thinking their wife is worth $15.  Fortunately, Wendy is one who, while she appreciates and enjoys flowers, understands that they die and the money I spent is our money.)

In fact, this whole Rotary Club thing really hosed me once.  We were expecting our fifth child, and I thought that instead of waiting until the baby was born to purchase my traditional bouquet of roses, I would surprise her early on in the pregnancy with a beautiful array of a dozen roses from the finest flower shop in town.  It was the day of the delivery (of flowers, that is) and I was at work, anxiously awaiting a phone call from my sobbing wife who was overcome with the joy that came with relishing in the expression of undying love for her I had just sent (an expression that cost well over $50, by the way).  As the day went on, I started thinking that maybe she took the kids somewhere and wasn’t home when the flowers arrived, since I did not receive the call I had so utterly anticipated.  Finally, I called home to “check in.”  Hmmm….  yep, she was there.  After some normal small-talk and no mention of flowers, I finally asked if anything had come that day.  Her answer was, “Oh, yeah.  It must have been Rotary Flower day, huh?”

Nothing against the Rotary Club, but I’ve pretty much hated them ever since.  Talk about killing the moment.  Why not just add “Oh, and you’re a big, fat, bald loser who does math for a living.”

And that brings me back to Valentine’s Day.  To me, it’s like the Roatary Club flower sale, except that it’s a lot more expensive.  And while I do not deny that there is an element of obligation borne of love in celebrating it, there is a larger portion of obligation borne out of marketing, and dare I say outright fear.

Therefore, I have made my stand!  I prefer to think of my stand as that of a hopeless romantic who desires only the element of surprise.  Others may take a more cynical view, I suppose.

I will say that the day is not a complete loss.  Wendy celebrates it with the kids, and they make their cards, and it’s a lot of fun for them.  They learn about St. Valentine and they decorate and they make cookies and they eat candy.  They get cards from Grandma and Grandpas that they open and get all excited about.  So, it’s not like we’ve completely eschewed all things Valentine on any moral principle.  For more detail on their special day, check out http://thebluehouse.wordpress.com/2007/02/15/the-sun-has-set/.

Who knows?  Maybe someday I’ll really surprise my wife by actually getting her flowers on Valentine’s Day.  I just need to make sure it’s clear that they aren’t from the Rotary Club.

Exercising Futility

Originally posted on http://digitaldiatribes.wordpress.com on February 12, 2007.

In my youth, I loved to exercise.  It helped that I was involved in competitive sports, I suppose.  After all, there was a specific, tangible goal to be had of making the team, and performing well.  Speaking of which, my wife and I have discussed the merits of being part of a sports team quite often.  As a homeschool parent, I am wondering how I can provide an opportunity for my kids to be involved in a team of their own.  Some of my fondest memories of high school center around my participation in football and track.   I simply cannot deny that it is something I very much enjoyed and from which I learned many lessons.   But I digress.  What the heck was I going to write about?   Oh, yeah… this post is supposed to be about exercise.  Perhaps I’ll “tackle” the homeschooling/sports/opportunity debate another time.

That was then (Mr. Exercise).  This is now (Mr. “Exercise?  What’s that?”).   I often wonder how I could have transformed myself from the kid who relished every opportunity to get a good workout, whether it was running hills or lifting weights or biking, to the slug who has to force-feed 30 minutes of not-so-vigorous exercise upon myself.   The answer, like most other things, is a little more complex than it may seem.   A combination of factors have come together to bring me to where I am today.  It’s been a long struggle, and much hard work to become completely disinterested in getting the blood pumping, but I’ve managed to finally do it!  And I am guessing that my story is not dissimilar to others’ tales.  The question now is what to do about it.

It all started in college.  I was still an avid workout warrior in my college days, but things started to change a bit.  The first important thing was that I no longer competed in any official sports.  No offense meant to anyone, but I didn’t consider city-league softball or the two-day-a-week basketball games or the Sunday night Volleyball league “official.”   But on the other hand, simply competing in those kinds of things still kept me active, and it encouraged a certain amount of desire to stay in good shape.   But there was an edge that was removed, that is worth noting.  The proverbial first chink in the armor.

But then the real world started to get in the way.  Suddenly, this thing called a job took 8-10 hours out of the day.  Let me tell you, high school and college – even with the homework – were beautiful days.  Now, the rest of the world’s schedule started messing with my priorities.  Not to mention that I work at a desk in front of a computer.  Not only was I not getting exercise at work (and still don’t to this day), but I now had countless hours where I could potentially be exercising removed from my schedule.   Still, when you’re a single guy, it’s no big deal to find some time to get some exercise.  So, while I had gone yet another notch lower on the “exercise is important” scale, I still managed to stay in pretty good shape.

And then my future wife had the nerve to break up with her then-boyfriend and she made me fall hopelessly in love.  It was a dirty trick, as marriage ensued.  Suddenly, all that “single-guy-working-out” time was far less important than coming home after work.  For one thing, I wanted to come home to my lovely wife, despite the whole marriage trickery, but there was also now the consideration that she actually wanted me to come home.  In other words, my time wasn’t just my time anymore, it was our time.  And after working away from home all day, asking for more time to pursue personal pursuits just didn’t seem too fair.   Now, I still did get out for bike rides, and Wendy enjoys tennis and some other things, so we still got some exercise.  But this knocked things down a bit more.

But it doesn’t end there.  I am an actuary.  Anyone who knows about my profession <insert nerdy actuarial joke here> will know that we have to take exams.  It is not an understatement to say that the exams pretty much take over your life for a period of time.  Here’s an exercise for you…  imagine studying 400 hours over the course of about four months.  Now, figure out how much time that is each and every day, and how you’d fit it in around work, family, and all the other things that continually pop up.   Hey, I’m not a martyr here – plenty of people do it and other people have their own issues in life.  But given our subject on finding time to exercise, take a wild guess at what one of the first things to go out the window is when finding time for studying.   This is what I most largely blame for moving me from the category of habitual exerciser to habitual non-exerciser.  Because when one exam is done, you take a little break and studying for the next one starts.  Plus, you’re out of shape now, and so you don’t go at it as hard as you used to.  Now, stretch this out over years, and it’s a recipe for disaster.

Lastly, but not leastly, I have six [2008 update... seven!] children.  Take the concerns about spending time with family that I mentioned in the marriage section, and increase them exponentially.  I am away at work all day (which I hate – topic for another post).  How, then, can I feel good about taking “me” time after work?

And so, there’s my story of increasing and well-developed laziness.   The toll is noticeable.  I know that I cannot do things I used to do.  Clearly, as we age, that is no surprise.  But while I am getting older, I am not exactly a senior citizen, and I am blessed to have no major physical limitations or disabilities, so there is no reason that I should not be able to do most, if not all, of the physical things I would like to do.   (OK, I did have reconstructive knee surgery a decade ago, but all in all I recovered fully)  I weigh more than I should.  And with every year, I do worry that my habits will come back to haunt me at some point.

So, what am I to do?   Well, I’ll save that as a post for another time.  Balance needs to be achieved, however.  For now, at least I have considered how I went from point A to point Z.  Here’s hoping I can get back to point M.  Or maybe even L.

Sports, Marriage, and Family

Originally posted on http://digitaldiatribes.wordpress.com on Feb 5, 2007

Yes, it’s true. I love football. It’s a cross I bear.

More accurately, it’s a cross my wife bears.

The truth of the matter is this: I grew up a huge sports fan. I followed the National Football League, Major League Baseball, College Football, College Basketball, and when time allowed, the NBA. As for hockey… not so much. We don’t have a pro team in Wisconsin, and I’m pretty much a homer when it comes to sports teams. So, not only did I not see it on TV all that much, but neither did I have much of a rooting interest.

Subsequently, I grew up – physically, that is. Then I got married. It was somewhere in the second year of marriage, as I was watching a Brewers game on television after having listened to all the games on radio up to that point in the season (I mean, come on! You have to listen to Bob Uecker!), when a conversation that would change the course of my future occurred. It was something like this:

Wendy: Oh. You’re watching the Brewers. (Has that look where you say to yourself “uh, oh.”)

Joe: Um, yeah. What?

Wendy: Oh, nothing. (Again… “Uh, oh.”) It just seems like you spend all your time watching or listening to sports.

Now, let me interject here. I’m not defending spending all your time on sports. In fact, I am now wise enough to realize that everything needs a balance. But when you’ve always done things a certain way, your idea of “balance” differs a bit from what others may perceive as a healthy balance. Anyway, our conversation ensued:

Me: No I don’t. I don’t pay any attention to hockey. (Clearly, a winning argument there.)

So, to cut the story a bit shorter, let’s just say we worked out a compromise. The NBA was gone. Major League Baseball – even the Brewers – pretty much gone. Instead of tuning in every night, it was limited to following their progress in the papers, or listening while in the car or outside. I’ll watch the World Series and some playoffs. College Basketball, limited only to the Badgers when we have nothing else going on and the March Madness tourney. College Football – limited to the Badgers when nothing else is going on and Bowl games.

All of the above, in fact, could go away without the fabric of my universe unraveling now. My only real demand is where I said, “If everything else goes away, I absolutely must have the Packers. There can be no debate about that.” Being a loving wife, she agreed. She pretty much acquiesces to the entire NFL thing.

It may sound like I still follow sports a lot, and in fact I do. Which makes me realize just how much I actually followed back when you throw in the NBA and baseball, and didn’t limit the college sports. It’s pretty easy to make this your life!

I am thankful that Wendy really is a good sport (pun absolutely intended). I do wish, in my heart of hearts, that she would see the light and suddenly find the joy in sports that I do. On the other hand, she wishes I had an eye for color, so I guess you live with what you have.

So, as the NFL season ends with the Colts defeating the hated Bears in the Super Bowl, I am feeling a sense of loss at the same time Wendy feels a sense of gain.

Thankfully, March Madness is right around the corner!