Originally posted on http://digitaldiatribes.wordpress.com on January 28, 2008.
It seems we’re not safe from anything these days. A spy satellite the size of a bus is going to tumble to earth some time in the next few weeks, and nobody seems to know where the thing will land. Well, ain’t that just dandy. I can see it now… “Um, yeah, Mr. Achmadinejad? Um, you see, we have this huge thing that seems to be falling from the sky right towards your home on the lake. No, that’s silly… It’s entirely coincidental. What’s that? Well, this is the embarrassing part. You see, there’s really nothing we can do about it. That is, unless you let us shoot it down with a missile. Hit your house with a missile? No, no, no… we’d never let that happen. Really, we wouldn’t. Um, you by any chance aren’t going to be at your lake house that weekend, are you?”
Be careful, and here’s a bunch of condoms.
So it’s getting close to Carnival in Brazil, the annual orgy that happens in the month leading up to Lent. You know Lent… it’s that pesky religious holiday where a lot of people, like Catholics, decide to fast and pray and stuff to reflect of Christ’s sacrifice. Well, somewhere along the way, it was decided that it would be a good idea to treat the month leading up to it in the most hedonistic way we could imagine. And now the government has come out with a very helpful message – here’s a bunch of condoms. This is our way of asking you to be responsible.
Just a crazy thought… maybe if people don’t want to get AIDS or any other of the various diseases that are just waiting for a chance to spread, people should – now I know this is crazy – ABSTAIN from sex with strangers. I know, I know… this is just me being a prude. Or, perhaps, it’s me using some other cell of my brain other than the endorphine-producing section. But probably the most enlightening quote comes from the President of Brazil, “Everybody has the right to have fun and enjoy themselves but it is important to remember that the next week we have to work and look after our families.” Wow. With requests for responsible behavior like that, how can they go wrong? And our forefathers clearly missed that whole “right” to fun and enjoyment. (For those not familiar with the lingo, that most likely means sex and drinking.) Time for an Amendment to the Constitution.
The Sheep Circle
I’m not sure why this story intrigues me, but there’s something about people being freaked out about sheep eating in a perfect circle that’s just kind of humorous.
The ringing endorsement of Mr. Kennedy
So, all over the news today has been the endorsement of Senator Edward Kennedy on the side of Barack Obama. What hasn’t been fully explained to me is why this is good news for Mr. Obama. Oh, I suppose the people in Massachusetts who have been like sheep in a circle, worshipping the icon of Mr. Kennedy, may follow his lead. Maybe his influence even extends throught New England, for some reason that only God and a Northeastern Liberal will understand. But outside of that, how does this do anything but hurt Obama? At best, nobody really gives a hoot about an endorsement. At worst, a bunch of people like me suddenly lump Obama in with the guy that many people consider one of the biggest jokes on the hill. An endorsement from Kennedy = a check mark in the “against” column. Now, I’m certainly not the target audience. But I’ve had enough discussions with those on the left to know that they are more embarrassed by Mr. Kennedy’s perpetual presence in the Senate than they are proud, and they quietly wish the people of Massachusetts would get a clue and send him on his merry way. To Camelot, or something.
On a funny note, some time ago Kennedy is the genius who introduces Barack as “Osama.” Ah, yes. If nothing else, he does provide some good comic relief once in a while. Too bad he actually gets to vote on stuff.
